Mountain Talking

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The Proteas: 20 Years, 20 Landmark matches

The 10th November 2011 is the 20th anniversary of South Africa’s re-entry in to international cricket. We selected 20 landmark matches and relive the memories around them.

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Cricket and Lions in Zimbabwe

I am not in the Windies with the South African team as many have asked….here is what I have been up to:

18th – Much to look forward to although Ella’s lack of enthusiasm about me leaving has more of an effect than ever before. Fortunately I was able to be at her 7th birthday party three days before leaving but that just seems to make it harder for her to accept me going away again.
Still, you have to do what you have to do and the opportunity to be part of a systematic rebuilding of the Zimbabwean national team is too good to turn up. Been planning it for the last couple of weeks and excited about putting it into place.
Forgot to take out cash from the ATM at OR Tambo before moving through immigration which was a disaster! It was a nightmare trying to get back through the various checkpoints to find an ATM — and much mirth amongst passport control who wondered where I could possibly have been overseas for 40 minutes.
Virtually impossible to get cash in Zim so it had to be done.
Met up with Butch at the Monomotapa Hotel on arrival in Harare and we discussed objectives and plans for the ‘camp’ starting the next day.

19th – Dreadful night’s sleep, mind racing but with excitement rather than anxiety. Butcher and I set off for Antelope Park, just outside Gweru, at 8:30 in order to arrive and check out facilities before the team’s bus arrived a couple of hours later. The drive was fantastic. Butcher played all his favourite music from the 60s and 70s and also some stuff by his son, Mark, who is building a career as a professional musician. It was very good.
Antelope Park exceeded our hopes and expectations. Accommodation was widely varied and it was a challenge to assign beds to the various players and management given that single rooms were a rarity and the “the family lodge” was basically a dormitory sleeping nine!
Would the players moan and grumble? Would they resent sharing rooms?  We hoped not. And our hopes were answered with a wave of enthusiasm when the guys finally arrived, two hours behind schedule, with a bunch of goodwill and excitement for the days ahead.
Fitness trainer, Lorraine, organised some soccer which the boys always enjoy and then we had the first of what would be many hours in a hopelessly small “conference” room talking about the future and what our goals would be.
Dinner was cooked over an open fire, as was every meal, and it was all the more delicious for that. Everyone knew there was an early morning fitness session so went to bed early. They did not know what the fitness session would be!
The plan was always to make use of the beautiful surrounds of Antelope Park and include five ‘exercise stations’ en route. We mapped the course using Dale’s GPS at midnight!
Slept barely a minute of the 4 1/2 hours left by the time we got to bed.

20th — 5:45 a.m. start. Really cold!  The squad are divided into four teams of five and have to complete three laps of the course as a team. No point in the fittest rushing ahead.  The ‘catch’ is a round of general knowledge questions which have to be answered after each round. Some are tricky, but they become easier with each lap. However, they become harder to answer the more exhausted the players become.
“What is a tomato?” “What do you put in a toaster?” “In which country would you find the Indian state of Gujarat?” With the blood and adrenalin pumping, and the sense of competition having kicked in, simple questions produced some interesting answers. “Toast” was a common answer although there was one of “jam”. Several flustered players could find no answer to the final question — “Bangladesh? Pakistan?”  they offered.
The objective was to prove that clear thinking becomes harder in times of physical stress. Whether bowling or batting, players need to learn how to cope when their hearts are pumping and brains spinning.
21st — Dale Williams, executive coach, begins his work. None of the players has had any experience of personal evaluation and they all appear to respond with massive excitement. Sports teams have a tendency to regard anyone who is ‘quiet’ or ‘different’ with suspicion. The point of personal evaluation is for players to be able to appreciate the strengths rather than the weaknesses of their colleagues.
The point was well made by Tatenda Taibu in evaluating the mornings exercise when he pointed out that his team, although held up a little by Andy Blignaut during the physical exercise sessions, would never have won without his mental dexterity and ability to answer questions under pressure. Everyone has a strength – as well as a weakness.
Sports scientist, Dr Austin Genes, addresses the squad on a variety of topics including nutrition, core strength, training routines and injury prevention.
Dinner was once again served over a hot fire and we gathered for a while in a circle around a roaring campfire. Players were talking to each other, something of a sad rarity on the two previous tours to the West Indies. All good so far.
22nd – A luxurious lie in until 7:00 a.m. meant for good spirits. Wholesome campfire breakfast of eggs, woers, beans etc. although the health conscious were able to have cereal and fruit. Brief chats followed on nutrition, media and IT awareness before another team building exercise which involved the construction of a building using nothing more than one packet of raw spaghetti and one packet of Prestik/Bluetack (whatever it is called. “Sticky Stuff is the preferred name in Zim.)
Height was the only criteria. The teams had one hour to construct something as high as possible without any other aid. The reaction was fascinating to observe.  All four teams tackled the task with unbridled enthusiasm, but only one excelled. “Rock of ages” – comprising Taibu, Blignaut, Chigumbura, Ervine and Ed Rainsford – combined to construct a remarkable, triangular piece of artwork measuring over a metre and a half in height. The next highest was barely 40 cm.  Although the architectural workwhich went into all four constructions was noted with admiration by coach Butcher.
At midday we were informed that we were to witness the “lion feeding”. Although Antelope Park is a renowned Lion preservation Centre, most of us were completely unprepared for what we were about to witness.
Seven adolescent but almost mature male lions are kept in the same enclosure and fed only once every five days. Seven large body parts from variously, goat, calf and a sheep, and arranged in the rough shape of a large carcass in order to teach the Lions the art of hunting. After five days the group ravenous. The “carcass” is arranged barely two metres from where we were standing in.
“Male lions do not share,” said our guide. “It can be very violent and quite ugly.  Be warned.”
It was incredible to see.  The seven males were let loose from 40 metres away and tore into the flesh with a ferocity that made all of us behind the security of a wire fence take three or four steps back. Nothing will ever challenge the sound of a belly roar from a hungry lion. Or seven! Amazing.
Easy drive to Bulawayo in the late afternoon and time for everyone to relax and grab a shower in “normal” accommodation once again

Dance floor moves

Sulieman Benn, it would seem, is quite a hazard – on and off the field. At a sponsors function in Guyana, held in Georgetown’s only nightclub but starting at the extremely well behaved and modest time of 7:30pm, the gangly left arm spinner went the full distance. And more. If the function had been the equivalent of a day’s Test cricket, he would have bowled 45 overs. At least.
The Zimbabwe team decided on a two-bus departure strategy to allow for those who were keen to escape the thudding, head-spinning music but also to  allow for those who fancied a couple of beers. By 9:00am they were all gone which meant that at least a couple of the ‘management’ team were required to stay behind and mingle with the guests.
Conversation was only possible between those able to lipread and those carrying notebooks and pens but everyone seemed perfectly happy with a series of smiles and nods.
By 10:00pm most of the West Indies players, having become accustomed to retiring from such events far later than their touring opponents, had migrated to the dance floor where Benn’s routine was considerably different to that of his team mates. Instead of innocently imitating hard core sex with a straight face, he did an impression of an octopus being electrocuted.
Inevitably he bumped into a stranger on the dance floor who was neither a team mate nor a gyrating woman and, as such, immediately gave the man a couple of options. One was to leave the dance floor voluntarily and in good health.
Three days later Mr Benn wobbled through the hotel lobby in his boxer shorts and escorted a young lady to a waiting taxi. I wouldn’t normally have noticed this but, since the majority of both squads were waiting in the lobby to catch our obscenely early bus to the airport, I wasn’t the only one who noticed. Benn wasn’t selected for the next two games being overlooked for the clearly inferior spin of Nikita Miller. But I was assured it was merely a ‘horses for courses’ selection policy.

Match fixing – not on my phone!

My relationship with ICC security man Ron Hope is great. He came and bollocked me just before the T20 international in Trinidad for having my mobile phone in public view within touching distance of the players changing room. “But it was turned off,” I protested. “Doesn’t matter,” he growled through a smile. “They have been the scourge of international cricket in the past and I don’t want to see yours anywhere near the players.” Fair point. We’ve had breakfast together since and laughed about it – as well as having some interesting chats about match-fixing and corruption. It will never go away.
Remarkable to see and hear how easy it is for former internationals to trash the quality of cricket played in Trinidad. Zimbabwe, nervous and desperate to make a favourable impression with the rest of the cricket playing world watching, crashed to 0-3 after three overs. It was almost too painful to bear. Even I, as the ‘outsider’, would have happily been swallowed up by the earth.
But the fightback was doughty, if not heroic, and the bowling plan was executed to perfection. The spinners were supposed to be defending a total of around 140 in the ‘blueprint’ but restricting the home side to 79-7 in reply to 105 was an extraordinary effort. The spinners were brilliant and the fielders tigerish. But there was not a word of credit from anyone, anywhere, for the effort, determination and skill displayed by the Zimbos. I guess they’ll just have to keep doing it…

‘Former’ journalist – not me

Corruption in cricket has played a major part in my working life for the past decade – at least, writing about it and doing my best to find out the truth – so it was with more than a touch of irony that I received the news that I would have to undergo my official ICC anti-corruption lecture from the region’s security officer, Ron Hope.
Every player and official who is new to international cricket must spend approximately 30 minutes with the ICC man delegated to the region in which they first appear so Zimbabwe’s two debutants, Shingirai Masakadza and Greg Lamb will be joined by me and former Zim captain Dave Houghton, on tour as director of coaching, for a little ‘chat’ this evening.
Having been informally ‘interviewed’ by various members of the ICC’s security unit over the years and shared information on peculiar occurrences on and sometimes off the field, I’m not expecting to be told anything I don’t know. But I’m ready to be surprised…!
One of the first e-mails I saw this morning was from my good friend Anand Vasu, cricket correspondent of the Hindustan Times. He had sent me an article by Peter Roebuck in the Sydney Morning Herald in which he described me as a “former journalist” despite knowing full well (because I told him a month ago) that my appointment as Media Liaison was just for this tour – three weeks.
Several of the senior players and management here in Trinidad – not to mention many colleagues around the world –  want to know how, and when, I will respond to the  insinuations in the article.
But if there’s one lesson I’ve learned in the last two decades, it’s not to react to anything too quickly. If I need to explain anything, or even justify anything, then I will do so in good time.

Early birds and Larry Gomes

The University of the West Indies sports campus in Port of Spain is probably bleak at the best of times but on a scorching day in the dry season the lack of shade was relentless. And Sod’s Law, naturally, found an equation to make the day an hour longer than it needed to be for Zim’s warm-up game against the UWI Vice Chancellor’s XI.
Having been told that the campus was approximately half an hour’s drive from the hotel, our ever-cautious team manager conservatively opted to add a bit of extra contingency time…just in case. (Of what?!)
Of course, the estimated travelling time did not take into account our police escort which scythed through the gridlocked morning rush hour traffic with the subtlety and care of an ice-breaker in the arctic. If looks could kill not a single member of the squad would have made it to the ground alive.
When we did arrive, the place was deserted. I’m not sure the ground staff were even out of bed. Eventually, two hours after arrival and a far lengthier warm-up routine than had been planned, the squads were summoned to the far side of the ground for a “ceremony” which was described five times during its 22 minutes as “very short”.
Three professors spoke and a citation was read in honour of the man who was being celebrated by the University, the great Larry Gomes who played 60 Tests for the West Indies during their golden years of the late 70s and 80s. The nuggety left hander became famous holding the team together on the rare occasions when all the stroke-makers in the rest of the batting order failed in the same innings. The wording of the citation occasionally caused a sharp intake of breath.
“In an era batting otherwise known for its spectacular and entertaining style, Larry Gomes was…” – what?! You can’t say that, you’re supposed to be honouring the fellow! “…the man who provided the solid reliability which the team depended on.” Oh, alright then.
Rest day tomorrow after a solid win. T20 against the Windies on Sunday afternoon. Wonder if the world really will sit up and take notice if the Zimbos win…

Blue light brigade

One of the things on a tour which has intrigued and irritated me for over two decades with cricket teams in third world or subcontinental countries has been the habit of the host countries to provide high profile, sirens-blazing police (or even army) convoys for teams to travel between hotels and playing venues. Practise days as well as match days.
It’s easy to justify on security grounds in some countries but there is also a gratuitous element to them with motorbike outriders taking a perverse pleasure in driving cars virtually off the road in order to get the team bus through traffic.
For the first day in Trinidad with the Zimbabwe team there wasn’t a police vehicle in sight. But by the second they were with us in all their glory. Unless we missed some news about potential terror threats or other hostile possibilities, it would appear that the police convoy is simply for ease of passage through Port of Spain’s heavily congested streets.
On the way to practise this morning the policeman in the passenger seat in the car ahead took exception to a driver who hadn’t moved over far enough and took an angry swipe at his wing mirror. The obvious conclusion to be drawn from treatment was that we were somehow ‘better’ than  all the other hot and bothered commuters in the morning rush-hour traffic. I wasn’t the only one on the bus struggling to come to terms with the notion…!
Lunch time was positively embarrassing as the convoy pulled into a shopping centre on the way back to the hotel in order for the players to buy ‘Subway’ sandwiches. For a desperate, fleeting moment it occurred to me that the police might escort the squad to the front of the queue, too, but they turned the lights and sirens off and waited patiently in their cars before bulldozing us back to base.
The squad seems happy and content although staying in a wonderful five star hotel such as the Hyatt Regency is a bit like window-shopping in the centre of Paris. Apart from breakfast, which is stunning and complimentary, we can’t afford anything else!

In the West Indies with the Zimbabwe cricket team…..

What a journey! Began in Cape Town on Monday, leaving home at 2.30pm and finished in Port of Spain, Trinidad, at 7:30pm local time on Tuesday – 35 hours later.

After 22 years as a cricket commentator and journalist, my first appointment behind ‘enemy lines’, as media liaison officer for the Zimbabwe national cricket team, is well truly underway.

If it had been with any other team then the back-to-back long haul flights from Jo’burg to London and onto Trinidad would have been in Business Class and therefore entirely bearable, but Zimbabwe travel economy. And not just any old economy – right at the back of the plane economy, the cheapest class of ticket you can buy.

Zimbabwe Cricket is not flush with money, far from it, so nobody was complaining too loudly. But then several other cricket boards are also struggling for cash but they adopt a policy of ‘treat them like winners and they’ll play like winners.’ Obviously in the case of Pakistan and West Indies at the moment that policy is failing spectacularly.

Zimbabwe recently played back-to-back five Test series against Bangladesh and lost, cumulatively, by a scoreline of 8-2. So until they start winning a few more games, it seems, the travel policy is likely to remain one of: ‘Let them earn a more comfortable seat.’
More later…

Why I went to Zimbabwe

After a seven year hiatus in my once frequent trips to Zimbabwe the last two weeks have been a delight.

Hosting the inaugural Stanbic Bank T20 cricket series with the five franchises was bloody hard work but equally rewarding. Seeing what Zimbabweans have to put up with and go through to get a tournament such as that up and running, and televised, was a welcome reminder of how much easier things are in South Africa and how much more fortunate we are.

I spoke to everybody I could think of (of relevance) before deciding to return to Zim and throw my weight behind their drive to get cricket back to its heyday of the mid to late nineties, but nobody was more important than the Minister of Education, Sport. Arts & Culture David Coltart.

I chatted to Andy Flower at some length as well as a number of journalists and very many laymen ‘Zimbos’ from within and without the country.

The overwhelming opinion was that I could, and should, concentrate on what I could positively achieve for the cricketers of Zimbabwe rather than worry about any possible negatives.

But it was Coltart, of course, whose opinion I sought and valued most after a life time of campaigning for equality and against human rights abuse. I was glad of the opportunity to interview him during tournament and here is the link to see for yourself.

Interview with David Coltart – Minister of Education, Sport, Arts & Culture

Moving Out?

One of the most important men to the success of the Zim T20 cricket series currently taking place in Harare is staying in a small apartment in the capital city rather than on his small holding some 30 kilometres outside the city where he grows roses and also runs regular coaching clinics on the net facilities he spent a decade building and nurturing at his own expense.

But he isn’t staying in the city just so that he can be close to the Harare Sports Club and be at the ground early for the start of play each day. He’s renting the apartment because he isn’t welcome at home at the moment.

An intimidating gentleman arrived at the small holding one day a couple of weeks ago with a dozen or so cronies in tow and informed the rightful owner of the propertythat he had been given ‘permission’ to occupy the premises. Several hearty discussions ensued and the ‘case’ is due to go to court for the third time next week.

Meanwhile the balcony of the house in question has become home to around ten ‘informal settlers’ making it impossible for the rightful owner to live at home. But he isn’t about to give up the fight which is, of course, the aim of the intimidatory tactics. And he most certainly isn’t going up to give up his passion for cricket – even after the illegal occupiers gratuitously dug up his coaching nets.

All of which confirms that coming to Zimbabwe to work on the series was the right thing to do. The country is undoubtedly more prosperous and successful than it has been at any time in the last decade and, though it is very, very far from perfect, people from all backgrounds are grateful for the encouragement (especially financial!) of visitors.

Cricket is determined to stand on its own and prosper within the context of a country equally determined to raise its nostrils above the crap that has been suffocating it for the last 10 years.